Episode 11, Season 5
Title: The Elephant in the Room

Written by: Joe Pokaski
Directed by: Bethany Roony
Original Air Date: January 15, 2006


Description:  (full synopsis)

Macy puts his career in question when he is charged with a DUI.  He is a pivotal witness in a murder case, and his credibility is challenged, causing problems with the case.  Jordan focuses on clearing Macy's name as well as avoiding Woody.  Bug finally admits to Lily that he still has feelings for her.

Guest Stars:

Alex McKenna (Abby Macy) , David Monahan (Matt Seely), Emy Coligado (Emy), Lawrence Pressman (Judge Marshall), Ethan Sandler (ADA Jeffrey Brandau), Charles Mesure (J.D. Pollack), Susan Gibney (Rene Walcott)
 

Random Facts:

Goofs:

Music:

Good Morning Starshine, Oliver James
Love in a Trashcan, The Raveonettes

Quotes:

Woody: Hey.
Jordan: Hey.
Woody: Think the roads are open yet? (look from Jordan) I gotta testify in the Grant Myers trial tomorrow.  So I have to get back.
Jordan: I hope they fry that bastard.
Woody: Should we really be talking about this right now?  (look from Jordan) I mean, this is kind of big.  Maybe we should take like five minutes and...
Jordan: Talk about what we did last night?
Woody: Well yeah. (nod from Jordan)  What it meant.  What it means? (look from Jordan) For us. (another look from Jordan, shakes head) If anything?
Jordan: I've got a problem that I should deal with.
Woody: What are you going to tell him? (Jordan just shakes her head).  Wanna know how I feel?
Jordan: Yeah.  No!  I just want to know how I feel.

Woody: Maybe a ghost killed Anne Rapenport.  Maybe Casper stabbed her. I'll see you people in the morning.

Garret: Even without it, it's still a slam dunk case.
Rene: No such thing.  My case is you.  We're as solid as your judgement.
Garret: Well then we're good.

Jordan: Now I have a long overdue date with my bed.
Nigel: And your Aussie beau.  You two seemed to be getting, um, pretty serious now.
Jordan: I don’t ask you about your sex life.
Nigel: I wouldn’t mind.
Jordan: Yeah, I would!

Woody: You coming?
Jordan: Ah…You go ahead.
(resigned look from Woody)

Rene: Your personal effects are ringing.

Rene: I don’t know which is worst Garret the stupidity or the timing.
Garret: I took a right on a red that’s it.
Rene: And yet the police report showed a blood alcohol count of point one two.
Garret: Defective breathalyzer. I will fight the charges.
Rene: There will be no charges. Thank you very much for putting me in that position.
Garret: You were there Rene. I had half a bottle of wine and you had the other half.
Rene: Half a bottle. Point one two. My office processed over 200 DUI cases last year Garret…
Garret: If you’ve got something to say, why don’t you just go ahead and say it.
Rene: You have two hours to get cleaned up and get to court.

Nigel: DNA? It’s going to take a lot to undo six months of the municipal dump. It’s a waste of time and resources.

Woody: (taking pictures) I'll be right there.
Seely: That's funny.  Would you help me out it stinks in here.
Woody: It's a little sticky in the winter man.  Come on you gotta grab on the two of them at the same time and (freight doors open)...Holy Mary. (takes another picture)

Jeffery: (shark goes rolling by) And I thought the DA’s office was weird.

Seely: Aft. I said aft. That means back.
Woody: I thought you said ass.  Why don't you just say back or tail fin or something appropriate.

Seely: Ohh, Bug.  This has you written all over it.

Bug: I don't think we need an autopsy.  It was the Gordon's fisherman in the Atlantic Ocean with the big hook.

Lily: Jordan, just sign on the 'X'.
J.D.: Hi Gorgeous.
Jordan: Oh! J.D. Hi.  You know what I have zero time to talk right now.
J.D.: I don't want to talk.  I want to eat.
Jordan: Oh?
Lily: Wait! (sticks form in front of Jordan to sign)
J.D.: Hotdogs on the State Street side.  I'm buying.
Jordan: Okay.  I can't...like I...honestly.

Nigel: (pulls Lily aside) Pollack's got a ring in his pocket.  I want to see if he pops any questions. (Lily, shocked looked)

J.D.: You can sneak out for lunch.  It's always crazy around here. (Jordan opens door to autopsy room.  Shark is on the table and Bug is cutting it open.  Jordan gives him a look)  Uh, we'll catch up later then.

Jeffery: (walks in autopsy room) Ahh. (covers his knows at the smell).  Guessing she's a Jane Doe, huh?
Bug: She's not a Jane Doe until we fail to identify her.
Jeffery: So what can you get from just an arm?
Bug: A fingerprint if she's on record.
Jeffery: She's on record.  I tried her fifty times.  Larceny and prostitution.
Bug: Are you psychic?
Jeffery: No.  Look at her.  Uh...the tattoo of the Devil...then those are probably track marks.
Bug: Or bloating or predation.  Right now she's just a victim, a person.
Jeffery: All right...but if it quacks like a duck...
Bug: (shouting) It's not a duck.  Go away.  (Seely is watching the scene)

Seely: Lily and Brandau huh?  I figured if she was going to go for a dork, it'd be you. (look from Bug) No offense.

Garret: One plus one equals two not three.

Lily: Garret!  Oh thank God.  Are you ok?
Garret: Of course I'm okay.  I've been in court.
Lily: Yeah but this morning...
Nigel: Oh Dr. M great.  I've been meaning too...
Garret: Not now Nigel.  Not now.
Lily and Nigel start talking at same time.  Jordan Joins them.
Garret: Everybody stop.  Just shut up.  Next person who talks is fired.

Jordan: That was uncalled for.  Don't you think?  You missed a shift.  Not them.
Garret: Can I just have two minutes to myself please.
Jordan: What happened last night when I called you?  Where were you this morning?
Garret: If you can't keep a shift by yourself you have no business calling yourself a doctor.
Jordan: (yelling) Garret we were worried about you.

Rene: They can't counter the evidence so their smearing him.  Do I have any reason to be concerned?
Jordan: I'm not sure what you're asking.
Rene: Does Garret have a drinking problem?

Jordan: Why is your drinking suddenly an issue?
Garret:  You'd have to ask the defense attorney.
Jordan: Walcott asked me about it Garret.  And I lied to her.  It's not just a glass at the end of your shift anymore. 

Garret: Go home Jordan.
Jordan: I can't protect you, if I don't know what's going on.
Garret: There's nothing to protect.  Just tell the truth.

Seely: Umm...maybe not.  Get some sleep.  You look like crap.  I got this.
Bug: What are you going to do?

Jordan: You know I love your little planned surprise rendezvous but today is so not the day.
J.D.: I'm not here for romance.

J.D.: You want to talk?
Jordan: Not about this.
J.D.: (gives Jordan a look) About something else then?
Jordan: (pause) Later o.k.?

Lawyer: Dr. Cavanaugh.  In your professional opinion as a doctor, does Dr. Macy have a drinking problem?
Jordan: I'm a Medical Examiner.  When he dies bring me his liver and we'll talk.

Jordan: Garret?
Garret: Just don't.
Jordan: Will you look at me?  Could we talk about this now?

Garret: What would account for that Bug?
Bug: I don't know.
Garret: Did you run computer simulations?
Bug: No...
Garret: Did you test for DNA?
Bug: I'll do that.
Garret: Why don't you do it now.

Seely: Hey!  The guys been busting his hump on this case.
Garret: Excuse me Detective?
Seely: You don't need to be such a hard ass.
Garret: Don't tell me how to run my morgue Seely. 

Woody: Hey Nigel, you're a scientist.  Maybe you can figure out this new fangled coffee machine.
Nigel: What are you doing here?
Woody: Ah... I didn't feel like hanging out at the station and I didn't feel like going home.  Nig.  You ever wait for a woman to make up her mind?  It's like watching paint dry.  On your eyeballs.  You know what.  God bless the Aussie.  He can have her.
Jordan: She's making up her mind eh.  Well my money was on her giving him a flat out no.  Didn't even think she'd consider marriage.
Woody: What? (grabs Nigel)  He's going to propose.

Jordan: Hey Nig.  Did I happen to see Woody here earlier?
Nigel: (pause) Jordan I'm never again going to stick my nose in other peoples business.
Jordan: Where'd that come from?

Seely: You're an ME.  You don't do interrogations.
Bug: Woody lets Jordan do it all the time.  Come on Seely.  Look at this guy.  We let him walk we do a disservice to her.
Seely: What her are we talking about here?  Jane Doe, Liz Cartland or Lily Lebowski.

Jordan: Thanks for helping Woody.  Listen.  I haven't really been able to talk to Pollack yet.  but if you want to fire any questions.
Woody: No way.  You've got to talk to Pollack first.
Jordan: Ahh...what does that mean?
Woody: Nothing.

Woody: This is just a little weird.
Jordan: Do you want me to play the boy?

J.D.: Am I interrupting anything?
Jordan: When did you get here?
J.D.: So what is this?  Some sort of crime recreation theater.
Jordan: Yeah, kind of.  It's something the Cavanaugh family players used to perform back in the days of...well the Cavanaugh family.
Woody: You're timings actually perfect.  We're in need of a third party.

Jordan: I've gotta get to court to try and figure out a way to nail this kid and save Macy's ass.
Woody: What are you going to do?
Jordan: I have no idea.

Jordan:  Garret.  You have a drinking problem.  You've gotta get some help. (Garret moves away to reveal Abby is also in office, Jordan pauses then continues)  Find AA.  Find triple A.  Find Jesus.  Find Jigsaw Puzzles.  I don't care, but uh...I will not enable you anymore.  You  have to own this.  You have to beat it.  And if you don't I'm going to ask that you be removed from your post.  (to Abby) I'm sorry you had to hear that Abby.  It's good to see you.

Lily: What the hell was that? (when Bug hangs up her phone call)
Bug: Do you remember three years ago when I declared my feelings for you and you let me down easy.  Said I was your only friend and I said I understood and that it was okay. 
Lily: Of course I do.
Bug: I lied.  It's not okay.  I loved you then and I haven't stopped.
Lily: Wait.  Why are you telling me this now?
Bug: I am sick of regretting a moment of fear.  And I've learned it's never too late to do the brave thing.

Jordan: What are you doing out here?
J.D.: Not really feeling the open door policy.
Jordan: Okay.  Well, why don't you come in.  Uh...there's something we need to talk about.  I uh...
J.D.: Slept with Woody.
Jordan: You know?
J.D.: I watched...uh...the body language at the make believe hotel.  I'm not an idiot.
Jordan: I'm sorry.
J.D.: About the inn last week?
Jordan: Yeah.  It was a weird situation.
J.D.: I don't want the play by play.  I think we can slide past it.  I'd like to try. (pause) As long as it didn't mean anything.
Jordan doesn't say anything...and we fade out.

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