Episode 10, Season 5
Title: Loves Me Not

Written by: Jon Cowan and Robert Rovner
Directed by: Allan Arkush
Original Air Date: January 8, 2006

Description:  (full synopsis)

Jordan and Woody are sent to investigate a murder at a quaint bed and breakfast in Western Massachusetts.  The Inn is the scene of a 100 year-old unsolved crime that has made the place famous.  A snow storm traps them at the inn for the night.  Jordan and Woody try to determine who, the local cop, the hotel caretaker, the current proprietor, or the ghost chasing guest, is guilty of the crime.  Meanwhile, at the morgue, Bug gets jealous when he learns Lily is dating Jeffery.

Guest Stars:

Ethan Sandler (ADA Jeffrey Brandau), David Monahan (Det. Matt Seely), Charles Mesure (J.D. Pollack), Yvonne Delarosa (Noemi Alvarez), Jordan Garrett (Derrick Wyath) Samantha Klein (Kara Kirkwood), Robert Lundqvist (Dr. Paul Wyman), Jeffrey Muller (Keith Kirkwood), John Tague (Gordon)
 

Random Facts:

-  The book both and guest and J.D. was reading in this episode was: Acts of Faith, by Philip Caputo.

-  There is no Littleton Village in Massachusetts.  There is a Littleton, Littleton Common and Littleville.  And the directions Woody gave: "Take the 2 out to Templeton.  North on the two of two and then jog east on the 12."  Are directions that would lead them out to Western Massachusetts, then in to New Hampshire and finally back towards Boston.  Route 2 does lead you west.  However Route 12 is a road that goes North/South...so how Woody expects to go East...

- At the end of the episode when Jordan enters the hotel room she and Woody are sharing she leaves the door open.  When they start making out the door is still open.  So one of them either had to get up to close the door (mood killer) or they continued on with the door open for anyone walking by to enjoy the show.  (And they didn't have to get up to turn the lights out since they were little lamps on the nightstands).

Goofs:

-  Minor Goof: When Jordan and Woody are up in the bedroom for the first time and they just find out that it is their crime scene, Jordan gives Nigel a call.  While Jordan is talking to Nigel, we hear the woman scream.  Jordan's lips stop moving but she's still saying something into the phone.

-  When Francis first comes up behind Jordan she cocks her gun.  Then when they're in the barn she cocks it again.  She hadn't fired a shot so the gun should still be cocked.

-  Why -- if the door had a lock -- would Francis NOT lock the door where she kept her fiancés dead body?

-  Also if Woody's a left side of the bed person, at the end when Jordan comes in the room, shouldn't he be sitting on the left side? 

Music:

Got You Under My Skin, Diana Krall

Quotes:

J.D.: Hey.  Missed you last night.
Jordan: Oh sorry about that.  I was on a case and I thought it was too late to call.

J.D.: I was hoping you'd come by.  I have something I want to talk to you about.
Jordan: Oh good I have something I want to talk to you about too.
J.D.: Why does your something not sounds as good as my something?
Jordan: Oh, don't get paranoid.  I just wanted to ask you...
Woody: Littleton Village.  Oh sorry Pollack I hope I'm not ummm...

J.D.: Oh no hurries mate.
Jordan: So what's Littleton Village?
Woody: It's where we're going.

Jordan: Going in this weather?
Woody: Some local cop drew the first murder out there in like a century.  He called Boston PD.  I pulled the short stick.  Called Macy, he drew you.

Woody: What do you say Pollack.  You think there's a story in a small town murder?  We can make it a threesome...figuratively speaking.
J.D.: Much as I'd love to fight the snow, I've got a hearing to cover.
Jordan: Oh, can I take a rain check on out chats.
J.D.: Yeah.  I'll let you make it up to me tonight.  Epauleta's a eight?
Woody: Epauleta's.  I'd love that.
Jordan: Epauleta's sounds great.
J.D.: You'll be back in time?
Woody: I'll bring the siren just incase.
J.D.: You're a good man Hoyt.  Despite what she says (Jordan makes face).
Jordan and J.D. kiss.  Woody watching, still holding the snow globe.
J.D.: I love you.
Woody: Well, well, well.

Newly wed Wife: Oh you two are so going to love it here.  This place is so...
Newly wed Husband: Gory (walk away)
Jordan: And that's a good thing?

Morton: I hope the eyes don't bother you.  Most people see a glass eye and they say it makes them queasy.
Jordan: Oh no...it's not...
Morton: Distracting, I'd imagine, but better than my feet.  Only got six toes between them.

Woody: Is it just me or is this place a little odd?
Jordan: Oh I don't know...uh...blind butler, honeymoon couple that loves a good murder...

Jordan: I think you failed to mention a few details there Davy.
Davy: Oh no this is not the crime scene.  This is the exhibit.

Woody: (grinning) Hey Jordan. Check it out.  This guy lost his head.

Davy: There's no sign of forced entry and the place was locked.  So technically a ghost could have killed Mr. Rivers.
Jordan: My money's on one of these guys.

Nigel: Do not react.  Seriously.
Lily: Ta-dah.  In jokes or smirks any comments at all I will hit you.
Nigel: Our Lily has a date.

Nigel: Brandau, you know the pip-squeak ADA.
Bug: You dressed up for him?

Guest #1: I was talking a bath.
Jordan: At three in the morning?!
Guest #2: It was my sons idea.
Boy guest #3: Can I go to the morgue sometime?

Woody: The blind guy with no toes?
Davy: Actually he's got six.

Seely: That's a new one on me.  They kill you when you try to make a withdrawal.

Woody: Guess that explains the thump drag thump Morton heard.  Not a ghost but a body being dragged down the stairs.
Davy: Or a ghost carrying a body downstairs.

Jordan: It's okay.  I know you must be scared.
Mother: Well actually, he wants to know if he can touch the body.
Jordan: (look of disbelief) No!

Davy: No one's going anywhere.  Road's snowed in. Happens every year...
Francis: Then you two will be spending the night.  We only have one room available.  I hope that's not a problem.

Bug: Hey is that new perfume...
Jeffery: Lily, you look...uh...wow.

Jeffery: I'd like nothing better...if... he did it.  Though I have to say  It's Mrs. Alverez's story that has whole in it.
Lily: Wait a minute.  She's the victim here.
Jeffery: Well technically the husbands the victim.  Though truth be told it does look like their both illegal so uh... 

Jeffery: Well anyway...the opera's starting soon.  So maybe we should...
Lily: Maybe we shouldn't.
Jeffery: It's just business Lily.
Lily: Not to me.

Woody: Why don't you take it.
Jordan: No that's okay.  I'll be fine on the couch.
Woody: (points toward couch) That is...not a couch.  It's...a...ummm...  Come on let's just share the bed.  It's not like we're getting totally naked.  It's like minus 20 in here.

Jordan: So you think the body's going to be okay out in that tent?
Woody: With Davy Crocket there watching the door with a twelve guage.  Nobody's getting past him.  Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?
Jordan: Ahh what? I...
Woody: That's my side of the bed.
Jordan: Oh it is?
Woody: Uhh...I uhh...I always sleep on the left.
Jordan: Okay fine!  If you're going to be picky about it.
Woody: (grins) Thanks.  (jumps onto bed)

Woody: You really don't have a side of the bed?
Jordan: No.  No I...you know what I never even thought about it so...
Woody: What kind of person doesn't have a side of the bed?
(Jordan gives Woody a look and rolls back over)

Woody: So how are things with you and Pollack?

Nigel: (walking into Jordan's office) Hey what are you do... (pause, as he realizes it's not Jordan) doing here? (to J.D.)

J.D.: Snowed in?
Nigel: Um...yeah.  Don't worry they got a hotel...
J.D.: Oh great.  With the guy she used to date.
Nigel: Hey I thought things were good between you two.
J.D.: So did I.  Um... look.  I mean you know her.  What do you think?  About us?

Jordan: Well...I just feel like maybe we're moving a little too fast.  And...I...uhh...he's a great guy.  Don't get me wrong.  It's been a lot of fun...and you know it's nice feeling like a woman.  You know what I mean?
Woody: Is that a rhetorical question.
(cut to morgue)
Nigel: It's not what I think Pollack.  It's what you think.  What do you feel?
(cut to inn)
Jordan: It just feels like something's...
Woody: Missing
Jordan: (sigh) I don't know.  Maybe.  You know he's smart and...
(cut to morgue)
J.D.: She's infuriating.
(cut to inn)
Jordan: And he's funny.  And...
(cut to morgue)
J.D.: ...then she makes me laugh.  The sex is great I mean...sometimes...
Nigel: Yeah.  Too much information there mate.
J.D.: Right...
(cut to inn)
Jordan: I don't know.
(cut to morgue)
Nigel: You still haven't answered the question. How-do-you-feel?
(cut to inn)
Woody: You asking for my opinion?
Jordan: (nods head) Yeah.
Woody: For real? Because...ugh...Let's face it Jordan, the last few months for you and I have been a little...weird.  And I don't wanna...
Jordan: No.  I want your opinion.
Woody: I think you already know.  I think we always know what we want, deep down.  Not what we say we want, but what we really want. (pause) Then again, what do I know.
Jordan: No.  I think you're right.  I think you're exactly right.  When did you get so smart?
(cut to morgue)
Nigel: Well call me a romantic, but I figure if you can't imagine your life without someone in it...if every day will be diminished if you weren't with her, then you'll know.

Jordan: Oh to be young and in love...That wasn't coming from next door.
Woody: That wasn't that kind of a scream.

Woody: I don't suppose a gun is going to help us if this is a ghost.

Newly wed wife: I've never had my picture taken with a real live dead person.

Jordan: Not who he isn't.  Who he is.
Nigel: James Laramy.  No priors, but here's the fascinating stuff.  He was born in Littleton Village.  Where you are right now.  So why does a man return to his home town under an alias and ends up getting himself killed?
Jordan: Thanks Nig. (hangs up phone)
Nigel: Hello?

Jeffery: I don't pick and chose which laws to uphold.
Bug: Of course you do.  That's what DA's do.

Francis: I thought they were such nice people.  So in love, don't ya think?
Jordan: Oodles.

Woody:  How about a little warning next time Rambo.

Bug: You are brilliant and I am so stupid.

(Jordan's phone rings) Jordan: Woody?
J.D.: Sorry to disappoint you.
Jordan: Hey.  I was trying to call you, but this storm is...
J.D.: Yeah I head.  Stranded at a romantic bed and breakfast with Woody huh?
Jordan: Nothing says romantic like blood stained furniture and severed heads.

Francis: There's one person for everyone in the world.  Don't' you think?  ...I couldn't imagine my life without him, you know what I mean?

Jordan: A hearse.  A coroner in a hearse.  Nice touch.

Woody: You okay?
Jordan: Yeah you missed all the fun.

Nigel: Is that what I think it is? (point to ring box J.D. is holding)
J.D.: Look, not a word about this to anyone.  You've got to promise me.

J.D.: What do you think my chances are?

Woody: I've got to say Jordan.  It's nice to be us again.  Past all that.
Jordan: The fighting...anger...yeah.
Woody: We did good on this.  I miss that.
Jordan: Yeah, me too.  Except for the almost dying part.
Woody: Yup.  Except for that.

 

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