Episode 14, Season 4
Title: Gray Murders

Written by: Andrew Black
Directed by: Roxann Dawson
Original Air Date: 13 MArch 2005


Description:

The simultaneous deaths of an international passenger and baggage handler at Logan International Airport leave the authorities in fear of a deadly new airborne virus until Garret identifies both fatalities as the results of drug overdoses. Woody is convinced that these deaths are more than a coincidence. He goes on the search for a drug ring with an inventive method for smuggling heroin. Meanwhile, Jordan investigates an elderly man's death. She believes his death to be a case of assisted suicide with an alleged 'angel of mercy' disguised as a friendly caregiver.   

Guest Stars:

Randee Heller (Julie Harvey), Heather McComb (Kate), Jordan Berkow (), Jim Abele (Owen Stanwood), Gregory Itzin (), Greg Fitzpatrick (), Jerry Kernion ()

Random Facts:

Goofs:

Music:

Always, Leonard Cohen

Quotes:
Transcript (courtesy of CJ Online)

Woody: How do you catch a drug overdose?

Bug: Come on Jordan. It’s not like you haven’t broken the rules before. You’ve done a dozen things that should have landed you in prison.

Lily: (pretending to be Seely’s wife) What I really want is for her to move home with us, but she thinks my husband is an obnoxious jerk.

Seely: Well good luck with that sweetie pie.
Lily: Well thanks for the support honey buns.
(Bug and Jordan give the two a look)

Garret: And if there was more to it you’d tell me right?
Jordan: Of course Not.
Bug (same time as Jordan): No way.

Jordan: Haven't seen enough snow this winter?
Bug: My aunt sent it to me. I admired it when I visited her in India a few years back. I can't believe she remembered.
Jordan: Well, it's not your birthday. What's the occasion?
Bug: She died.
Jordan: Oh, God, Bug, I'm so sorry.

Woody: What do we got?
Garret: Well since they called for a medical examiner and homicide detective my guess is a body.
Woody: Is sarcasms a prerequisite for being an ME?
Garret: It helps.

Garret: This is pathology 101. You've got two ODs.
Woody: How do you catch a drug overdose?

Nigel: Sweet Nancy, look at this.
Woody: What?
Nigel: Check out how many hits I'm getting on my web site, nigelblog.com. I've been posting evidence on the Beacon Hill murders. Three years ago three bodies were found...
Woody: Fascinating, really. It's extremely fascinating. Did you get that footage I T3'd you over from Logan?

Woody: It's a little difficult to take heroin accidentally. That leaves murder.

Bug: Come on, Jordan. I mean, it's not like you haven't broken the rules before. I mean, you've done a dozen things that should've landed you in prison.

Woody: You're telling me you don't remember a guy who ran up a $60 bar tab?
Davis: I don't look at 'em, dude. You make eye contact with them, you end up listening to their problems. I don't want to.

Owen: Where is mother Lebowski currently living?
Seely: In a group home, down on Rhode Island. And I'm fine with keeping her there. Really fine. But the wife here wants her near by. And what the wife wants, the wife gets.
Lily: What I really want is for her to move home with us but she thinks my husband is an obnoxious jerk. (She laughs.) Isn't that right, honeybun?
Seely: Thank goodness you don't feel that way, sweetie pie.
(He kisses her on the cheek.)
Owen: Taking care of a dying family member can put quite a strain on a marriage. You're smart to consider hiring a caregiver. Though as I've told you, I've already committed to a new client.
Lily: Yes, we know, but when I saw you in the morgue, how compassionate you were, I'm sure that we can approve upon whatever salary you're making.

Woody: Tell me you're having better luck than I am.
Nigel: Well, we're about to find out. I'm running a lip reading program. It's got a ninety percent accuracy rate.
Woody: Lip reading. Does that really work?
Nigel: We'll see, won't we? It's very exciting.
Woody: Exciting would be an ID on my bag snatcher.
Computer: Hey, maybe not a wasted drip after all. I'll neet you at turd and north in amount an hour.
Woody: Turd and north?
Nigel: Like I said, ninety percent.

Nigel: Half the stolen property in Boston, here in one convenient location.

Jordan: Seven strokes out of twelve employers. What are the odds?
Seely: Well, I'm no mathematician but I guess...
Bug: 10,217 to one. Well, strokes account for seven percent of all deaths, so then you...
Seely: Yeah, the point is it sounds like we've got an Angel of Death.
Lily: Yeah, we just have to prove it.
Seely: Yeah, good luck with that, sweetie pie.
Lily: Thanks for the support, honey bun.
(Jordan and Bug give them a look.)
Bug: Honey bun?
Seely: All right, reality check here. Most of these bodies weren't even autopsied. You're going to ask to exhume people's loved ones based on evidence tainted by Dr. Frankenstein here.
Bug: Listen, you inglorious bastard.
Jordan: Let's focus, gentlemen. Okay, out of these twelve, how many were autopsied?

Seely: Give me the number. I'm not just any inglorious bastard. I'm an inglorious bastard with a badge.

Nigel: So what I'm saying is if the heroin was put into the sweaters in Thailand and Robert Costelli brought it back here for someone to sell, someone here has to be able to unbind the heroin from the fabric.
Garret: Yeah, hard to smoke a sweater.
Nigel: Yeah, the dosage is shall we say, severe. Not good for repeat business.
Garret: Let's hope Woody finds that second suitcase.
Nigel: Yeah. In the meantime, if we can deconstruct the progress, figure out the chemicals used to extract the heroin, maybe we can trace those chemicals to the people who bought them, hey?
Garret: Autopsy on a cardigan. A first for me.

Woody: This is Detective Woody Hoyt, Boston PD. Is the victim wearing an off-white sweater?
Man's Voice: Uh, yeah, that's right.
Woody: All right, nobody touches that sweater. Is the victim conscious?
Man's Voice: Barely.
Woody: All right, ask him where he got it.
Man's Voice: What?
Woody: Ask him where he got the damn sweater!

Woody: Pontillo, on the ground now! Do not touch those sweaters! Do not touch those sweaters! Hands behind your head, on the ground now! Do it! (Pontillo makes a run for it. Woody runs after him.) Freeze! Stop! Stop! Freeze! I said stop! Freeze! (Pontillo runs into a tall wire fence and tries to climb it. Woody shoots his gun to the side. He grabs Pontillo.) Get down here, get down here. You want to be dead too? How many sweaters did you sell? How many sweaters did you sell?
Pontillo: One!
Woody: Anybody else touch them?
Pontillo: No, nobody. They're butt ugly and nobody wanted one, okay.
(Woody handcuffs him.)
Woody: You're lucky it's freezing out here. Your gloves saved your worthless life. Can't say the same for the three people your heroin killed.
Pontillo: Heroin? What are you talking about? I'm not a dealer. Look at me. I sell crappy sweaters on the street for five bucks a pop.

Lily: Well, maybe Mrs. Wilson died naturally.
Seely: All right, we're in the fifteenth round here. We need a knock out. Time to start throwing some haymakers.
Bug: Great. We're reduced to incomprehensible sports metaphors.
Seely: I'm saying I'm bringing Stanwood in. Look, sometimes all it takes is getting the guy in the hot seat, let them know you're on to him. Who knows, maybe I'll trip him up. What's the worse that could happen?
Bug: Gee, I don't know. You screw things up, tip him off, he skips town?
Seely: All right, there's that. Yeah, but then again, it just might work.
(Matt leaves.)
Bug: I don't like him.

Woody: Boston PD! Everybody relax. Everybody calm down. We're all going to chill out. So you can finish your drinks because nobody's moving and nobody's leaving. Remember to tip your waitresses.

(Woody & Garret walk up to Bug & Jordan)
Jordan: Hey.
Garret: So, uh, I hear there's been a little strain around here lately. Come on, this place is a sieve.
Jordan: Well, sometimes professional disagreements breathe solutions.
Bug: Yeah, all taken care of.
Jordan: And we'll leave it at that.
Garret: And if there was more to it you'd tell me, right?
Jordan: Of course not.
Bug: No way.
(Bug walks away.)
Jordan: So, you two gentlemen, want to buy a girl dinner?
(They walk towards the elevator.)
Woody: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why are we always buying you dinner?
Jordan: Oh, please, there's two of you, there's one of me.
Woody: Oh, come on now.
 

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