Episode 8,
Season 2
Title: Don't Look Back
Written by: Tim Kring
Directed by: Ian Toynton
Original Air Date:
2 December 2002
Description:
The discovery of a Hollywood starlet's body in the back
of a smashed semi-truck on a country road, leads Jordan
and her unwitting accomplice Det. Woody Hoyt back to the
streets sunny of Southern California and some steamy
moments in the Mojave Desert as they search for a
suspect. Meanwhile, Garret's old college classmate pays
a visit to the morgue allegedly searching for his
missing wife and Lily deals with her own unexpected
guest when her mother arrives in Boston.
FORENSICS
Guest
Stars:
Ernie Lively (Sheriff Roper), David Denman (Cole
Tanner), Keith Szarabajka (Peter Nash), Lesley Ann
Warren (Arlene Lebowski), Thom Scott (), Ingrid Beer
(Shirley/Luanne McGinty), Eli Jones (), Casey Biggs ()
Random Facts:
Goofs:
Music:
Tomorrow Night, Patty
Griffin
Lonesome Town, Paul McCartney
Still Learning How, Rodney Crowell
California, The Beach Boys
Quotes:
Transcript (Courtesy of CJ Online)
Woody: They think cause I’m good nature they can
take advantage of me.
Jordan: See that’s your first mistake right
there. You need to cultivate the more surely side of
your personality.
Woody: …This just sucks.
Jordan: That’s what I’m talkin’ about, now you’re getting the hang of it
Woody: I’m a homicide detective damnit! Is it too much to ask for a nice
little, no to hard to solve, interesting homicide.
Jordan: God, I’m really starting to like this new you.
Woody: Don’t you have a dead guy to attend to?
Jordan: And pass up the chance to score a free CD player, are you crazy?
Woody: What is that smell?
Jordan: Unfortunately there’s only one thing in the world that smells
like that… One nice little homicide coming right up!
Nigel: It takes so little to make me happy…
Woody: (about Nigel) How does he know all these things?
Jordan: Ares is not to wonder why!
Peter Nash: …I’m just you know… Looking for my wife.
Garret: In the crypt?
Nash: Well that’s where you put the dead people, right?
Jordan: …Ok, give me a couple of hours to get a few things together.
Woody: Why? Where are you going?
Jordan: To LA, with you.
Woody: No you are not.
Jordan: Yes, I am.
Woody: Are Not!
Jordan: Am Too!
Woody: You are not Jordan… I’ll send you a post card.
Lily: No of course not. I love this woman but
she’s a vampire. She’s going to suck the life out of me.
(referring to her mother)
Nigel: …Parents need their boundaries too!
Lily: …We almost got married once…sort of!
Garret: (about Peter Nash)…For some reason he hero worshipped me.
Nigel: Well, don’t we all.
Woody: I hate you Jordan.
Jordan: You only think you do!
Woody: And you hate me too. You’re here to reek some kind of terrible
havoc on my life. And do you know what the most sick and twisted part of the
whole thing is, is that I’m actually going to let you do it. It’s like watching
my own train wreak.
Jordan: Get a grip Woody, I’m here, get used to it.
Woody: I swear I will handcuff you to a fire hydrant and let you lie in
the sun and die like a dog if you so much as…
Jordan: I had about 5 years of vacation days saved up, you could be stuck
with me for a month.
Woody: I’m in hell, this is officially hell!
Woody: Where did you go? Rent-a-pimpmobile?
Cole: Do I gotta tell you guys everything?
Jordan: Wow, look at America’s sweetheart go!
Woody: I just want to state for the record. That
if I get hungry enough I have no ethical issues eating
human flesh. I just thought you should know that.
Jordan: I’m sorry Woody.
Woody: For what?
Jordan: For not knowing you better
Woody: Well, it’s a little difficult when your life philosophy is don’t
ask don’t tell.
Woody: …I saw that movie, the lady gets in the truck and I never see her
again…
Bob: You’ve come 43,000 light years, it’s the least I can do.
Woody: Yeah, LA’s pretty far!
Bob: Do you think you can come to our planet and suck the bile out of my
liver?
Woody: Did you just say suck the bile…
Bob: You’re in my force field now sucker…Tin foil!
Bob: …Stick it up your alien ass…
Woody: (while getting electrocuted) It doesn’t hurt, but its pissin’ me
off.
Woody: ah ha, looks like your little lightsabre’s broken there Yoda…
Bob: Yoda…Yoda this!
Bob: (to Woody) I’m real sorry I tortured you, no hard feelings?
Bug: (to Lily’s mom)…let me tell you what I know about the Lebowski
women, one of
them is the kindest, most compassionate woman I’ve ever known, and the other is
a
pathetic cipher, a black widow who wants nothing more than to keep her daughter
from finding happiness
Woody: I don’t know about you but I’m having the time of my life, I
haven’t slept in 2 days, not including that bug spray nap that I took, stranded
in the desert, kidnapped by a freak, electrocuted by that freak…
Jordan: Come on, come on, it hasn’t been that bad has it?
Arlene: You have yourself a good one Lily. He loves you. And that is no
small thing.
Woody: Stay here.
Jordan: And what exactly in our part would give you any indication that I
would do
that?
Woody: (Jordan hits sheriff on head knocks him
out. Sheriff holding gun on him) I told you to wait in
the car. Now we’ll never know what happened.
Jordan: You’re welcome.
Nigel: The crap under her fingernails, turns out that is exactly what it
is, crap… chicken
crap…
Jordan: …maybe we should just put up the wall right now, before either of
us gets hurt.
Woody: Ok, alright, fair enough, it’s a good reason, it’s a rational
decision, I can get behind that.
Jordan: Good.
Woody: Good… but lets just say that were our final decision…maybe a good
idea to get one for the road, just for the sake of curiosity.
Jordan: Probably smart.
