Episode 20, Season 1
Title: The Gift of Life

Written by: Ian Beiderman
Directed by: Arvin Brown
Original Air Date: 15 April 2002


Description:

When one of the nation's leading cardiologists dies performing surgery, Jordan recalls how the arrogant surgeon's malpractice practically mauled her career, and even found her fighting for life after a drug overdose. The death of this former mentor, Dr. Elliot McCafferty, forces Jordan to reexamine her road to the M.E.'s office when she met the young coroner, Garret, who made her reevaluate her life. Meanwhile, Bug battles immortality, by squaring off with the world of cryogenics.  

Guest Stars:

Zeljko Ivanek (Dr. Elliot McCafferty), Dan Butler (Arnold Hummer), John Gowans (Mr. Levin), Randy Oglesby ()  
 

Random Facts:

In this episode Garret gives Jordan a book called Morons Handbook for Writing your Will.  It’s a play off of the oh so popular ‘Dummy’s Guide to…’ books.  It’s got the yellow and black cover—you can’t mistake it.

Goofs:

Music:

Flinch, Alanis Morissette
Hand in My Pocket, Alanis Morissette
I May Know the Word, Natalie Merchant
No More I Love Yous, Annie Lennox
Girls Talk, Elvis Costello
Ev'ry Time We Say Goodbye, John Coltrane

Quotes:

Nigel: Friend of yours?
Jordan: Not really. He just saved my life once.

Doctor Elliot: Don’t think me yet. I just want to see if you move your hands half as well as you move your mouth.

Mr. Hummer: He will be preserved until his condition is reversible.
Nigel: His condition is dead.
Mr. Hummer: Man you people are like a broken record.

Nigel: Why is Mr. Reims still on the port-mobile.
Bug: It’s the only way I could get rid of the ghost of Christmas yet to come.

Nigel: For 50 thousand you can get your brain put on ice.
Bug: I bet you could get half price.
Nigel: Why so cynical?

Garret: Anyone ever tell you you’ve got a lousy attitude?
Jordan: Anyone ever tell you you dress like a coroner?

Mr. Hummer: I mean who signs your paychecks? The Grim Reaper?

Bug: Bring on the marmalade, he’s already toast.

Bug: You might want to tread lightly Lily.
Lily: I tried that. Now I’m strapping on the stilettos.

Jordan: (reads) Morons Handbook for Writing your Will. It had your name written all over it. –Garret. Funny guy.

Nigel: Gentleman! We’ve a patient on the table. Remember our motto. First do no harm.
Bug: He’s dead.
Nigel: Well…do no more harm.

Garret: Since when have you listen to me?
Jordan: I always listen to you. I just rarely do what you say.

Garret: (to Jordan when she gives him a box, says he’s in his will) I don’t mean to rain on your funeral. But it is customary to actually die before you start bequeathing your estate.

(A purse of a coffin is on the reception counter)
Jordan: Oh my God, awesome bag.
Lily: Oh, you should see the matching shoes…love!

Lily: It could be this new face cream I got, the active ingredient is human foreskin.
Jordan: And you put this on your face?
Lily: Smoothes out your fine lines.
Jordan: Just be careful not to rub too hard, you know what I’m sayin’.
Lily: Yeah, I got all the complexion erection jokes from the gal at the cosmetics counter

Jordan (to Garret): Look, I need a raise. My accountant says I’m worth a buck fifty, after taxes.

Jordan:…he still wants me to draw up a will.
Garret: You don’t have a will, you’re an ME for God’s sake.
Jordan: I’m a young ME, there’ll be plenty of time to think about that stuff when I’m your age.
Garret: You really outta see someone about having that nasty patch of denial removed.

Nigel: So, who is he?
Jordan: Dr. Elliot McCafferty. He’s one of the top heart surgeons in the country.
Nigel: Friend of yours, huh?
Jordan: Not really. He just saved my life once.

Arnold Hummer: Cryo-transport. I’m here to save Mr. Reims
Lily: No offense, but I think you might be a hair late on that.
Mr. Hummer: You’re way to hot to be a cryobaby honey. Death is over, its strictly second millennium. Let it go.

Nigel: Why is Mr. Reims still on the port mobile?
Bug: The only way I could get rid of the ghost of Christmas yet to come.

Nigel: It’s a bit pricey, but there’s an economy plan. For 50 thou they’ll put your brain on ice.
Bug: Bet you could get half price.

(Jordan in 1995 outside the hospital smoking)
Garret: Why don’t you try sucking on the tail pipe of a Buick, it’s faster.
Jordan: Tried it once, smeared my lipstick. Who the hell are you?
Garret: Garret Macy, ME’s office.
Jordan: Oh, a coroner. Wow, I didn’t know they let you guys outta the crypt to walk among the living.

Garret: Anybody ever tell you ya have a lousy attitude?
Jordan: Anybody ever tell you you dress like a coroner?
Garret: My wife and daughter every morning.
Jordan: Well, they’re right.

Bug: Well, you might wanna tread lightly Lily.
Lily: I tried that, now I’m strapin’ on the stilettos.

Garret: The truth is the truth Dr. Cavanaugh. The question is whether or not you have the balls to say it out loud.

(Autopsy on Mr. Reims)
Nigel: Vitals are strong. Blood pressure’s 0 over 0.

Garret: So what’s next for you?
Jordan: Ah, who knows? Maybe I’ll take a trip around the world. Chill out.
Garret: Can you afford to do that?
Jordan: No.

Garret: Truth is that not many people understand what it is that we do here. I mean, we’re obviously here for the dead, we’re also here for the living, you know.

Jordan: Ok, you’re offering me a job?
Garret: Think about it. Somethin’ tells me you might liven up the joint.

Jordan: Decided to take your advice. I finally made out my will.
Garret: When have you ever listened to me?
Jordan: I always listen to you. I just rarely do what you say.

Garret: I don’t mean to rain on your funeral, but you know it’s customary to actually die before you start bequeathing your estate.

Garret (holding up stethoscope): Still talk to God through this thing?
Jordan: Nah, we email now. Always thought it was McCafferty that saved my life seven years ago. I finally realized it was you. You showed me what I was supposed to do with my life.
(Jordan kisses Garret on the cheek)
Jordan: I owe you one.

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