Quotes:
Jordan:
Florists? Caterers? Bands? Woody, there’s a guest
list here!
Woody:
There is? How’d that get there?
Woody: All’s fair in
love, remember?
Jordan:
And war.
Woody:
Does that mean this is make-up sex?
Woody: I thought this
was Seely’s body.
Jordan:
I wish.
Nigel: Oh, ho ho, I
get it. A bit of afternoon delight?
Woody: Ewww! No!
Nigel:
Why not?
Woody: Well, for one
thing, there’s a corpse on the table there. For
another, this place isn’t big on privacy.
Jordan:
Especially since he bugged my office with streaming
video and audio.
Woody: I… uh… I got a
call. Um… about – about twenty minutes ago.
Jordan:
Is it Cal? Your aunt or uncle? Jeez, Woods. Come on.
Woody:
It’s Max.
Nigel:
Silicate.
Kate: Excuse me?
Nigel:
Silicate. Specifically Silicon Dioxide.
Kate: And you’re telling me
this because…?
Nigel: I thought you’d
want to know.
Kate:
You thought wrong.
Seely: I thought
Jordan was doing the autopsy.
Kate:
Jordan is having her weekly crisis. The rest of us – as
usual – are covering for her.
Seely: Wow! Is she in
a particularly bad mood or does she just hate me?
Nigel:
Yes. I believe Binky suffered a defeat at the paws of
his arch rival last weekend.
Seely: You know, that
made sense. If you know this place.
Nigel:
Binky. Her
dog. He’s a-
Seely:
I don’t care. Really, Nigel. I’m okay with it not
making sense.
Seely:
The legendary Max Cavanaugh! He must be getting up
there. All that corned beef and cabbage finally catch
up with the old fart?
Lily: Poor Jordan. This has
got to be her worst nightmare. Well, one of them.
Garret:
Probably not high on Max’s list either.
Max: I just figured Hoyt
would stick around Bahston.
Woody:
I’m working on that, Sir.
Davidson: Your dad’s a
tough one. Stubborn.
Jordan:
It runs in the family.
Davidson: You don’t say?
All right, Miss Cavanaugh-
Jordan:
Doctor. Cavanaugh.
Max: When did you get to be
an expert on my daughter?
Woody: No one
is an expert on Jordan! I’m just the guy who loves her
and wants to make a life with her.
Max: How’s that going?
Woody:
Like I said, I’m working on it.
Bug:
I thought Kate-
Garret: Dr. Switzer’s a
little…
Bug:
Bitchy?
Garret:
I was going to say busy, but… yeah. That, too.
Garret: Somehow I don’t
think Kate was cut out to work with someone of Jordan’s…
temperament.
Bug:
Ohhhh. You mean her
insistence on playing homicide detective, tilting at
windmills, bullying government and racking up the
frequent flier miles when it suits her?
Garret:
And yet all of you – us – go along with her.
Garret:
You got it. His-and-hers autopsies.
Garret: Ignore
Detective Seely, Doctor Switzer. Everyone else here
does.
Kate:
That would be much easier if the man used a breath mint
from time to time.
Nigel:
Whatever caused the damage to those bodies, it wasn’t
heart failure, Detective.
Eddie: They were old.
Maybe they were tired of waiting to have their tickets
punched.
Sorry. It’s just… well, come on. I talked with their
lawyer this morning. They had enough to get by on, but
nothing else. One kid. Estranged. They hadn’t even
heard from him in years.
Garret: What are you
saying, Nige?
Nigel:
This print is James Horton’s.
Lily: Jordan’s half brother?
Garret: James Horton
died almost four years ago.
Nigel:
No, Dr. M. James Horton jumped in the Charles almost
four years ago.
Bug: His body never was
recovered.
Garret:
This is… ridiculous. Even for you, Nigel.
Garret: He was also
smart enough to have everyone believing he didn’t
exist. Then he goes and leaves an obvious print at the
scene? (beat) Come on, people, why?
Kate: That’s easy.
Nigel: He’s still
certifiable.
Kate:
That, too. He wanted Jordan to know he’s back.
Woody: Go… take a bath
or something. I’ll take care of in there, grab some
sheets and hit the couch.
Jordan:
The couch?
Woody:
Yeah… I mean… it’s – it’s your dad’s house.
Jordan:
Think you could at least tuck me in?
Woody:
That I could do.
Woody: So why did
you have key to Max’s house?
Sophie: I… um… you
know.
Woody:
You feed the goldfish when Max is away?
Sophie: We… date.
Jordan:
: You’re my dad’s girlfriend?
Woody:
Go, Max.
Jordan:
Do you really think… my dad…? I mean… You know what I
mean.
Woody: Jordan, he
retired; he didn’t join a monastery.
Jordan:
He couldn’t have found a nice widow who likes Canasta,
carries a wallet full of pictures of her grandchildren
and volunteers for Meals on Wheels?
Woody:
The way I heard it, you didn’t like the widow he found
that fit that description.
Jordan:
Why didn’t you tell me about her?
Max:
Gee, Jahdon, I can’t think why not. You always take
these things so well.
Max: You wanna take notes,
Woody?
Jordan:
Welcome to the Cavanaugh family.
Nigel:
Sweet Nancy! Don’t do that, woman.
Kate: Woman?
Nigel:
You won’t let me call you “luv.”
Kate:
True. What’s wrong with Dr. Switzer?
Kate: Hot coals, a bed of
nails or shards of glass?
Nigel:
Huh?
Kate:
Which one would you endure for her?
Nigel:
I know she’s stubborn and difficult and demanding.
Selfish. She’s also committed to helping people find
what she never could.
Kate:
Justice.
Nigel: We’re a family
here. And there’s always room for one more.
Kate:
Want me to name your poison?
Nigel:
You’re brilliant! Bloody brilliant!
Kate:
Finally! Someone around here gets it.
Kate:
Ithoughththeywere‘cool’duringmyGothphase.
Nigel:
Yes, but this way, we were bound to suspect something
and investigate. We’d find the fingerprint, learn that
it was his and be impressed with his clever message
telling us he was back.
Kate: He’s never heard of
e-mail?
Nigel:
Oh, where’s the
fun in that?
Jordan:
What did you do to him?
Sophie: Nuh – Nuh-
Nothing! I swear. (sob) We were talking and then….
Jordan:
I don’t believe you.
Sophie: I swear-
Jordan:
I will find out what you did. (long beat) And you will
pay for it.
Lily: Garret! Nigel. Come
quick!
Garret: What is it,
Lily?
Lily: Jordan’s. Office. I
was. Walking by. Door was… open. I looked in.
Nigel: Lily?
Lily:
You have to see.
Nigel:
I think we should call Jordan now.
