Bug:
I told you Lily, Santa visits in my house
consisted of my Dad dressing up in a big red fat man
suit. … Do you know how silly that looked? It was like
having — Krishna Kringle.
Jordan: Wow. And please,
after being on that mountain I could do with never
seeing snow again…
Woody: Snow’s not all that bad. … I can remember a time…
Jordan: Alright alright, so — maybe a snowy day
wouldn’t be such a bad thing….
Garret: We’re here to judge how they died, Jordan,
not how they lived.
Garret: Aren’t you needed in Autopsy Two?
Jordan: Aw, come on, man, miserly Dickens character
has GOT to trump (looks at her schedule) frozen Jamaica
Plains John Doe.
Garret: Mr. Popular here is going to have to take a
number.
Woody: Um, Jordan… I don’t think you heard the weather report this morning.
Jordan: Actually, I
believe I did. They said it was coming up next right
before I climbed in the shower and…
Woody: and then I followed you into the
shower... and neither of us would have been able to hear
anything for quite some time… not the television…
not a knock at the door or the phone ringing…
Jordan: Here I thought you were doing your boy
scout routine, trying to get the kumbaya circle going in
front of the camp fire and all you’ve got on your mind
is free booze.
Renée: No, it was just peachy , and getting peachier. When did buying…
toys become such a rat race again? I thought that ended
with the Tickle Me Elmo rush of 96.
Renée:
Oh great, so I have at least two new ulcers to look
forward to in the next ten years or so huh?
Garret: Try the next five years.
Woody: Put that down woman. I’ve got a—twenty
dollar bottle of wine with our name on it. Hey (nods to
her pajamas) nice quackers.
Jordan: She was so much fun
when I was little, Woody. I used to love going to her
house to play. We had our own little world together and
then.... (shakes her head) How do things get so messed
up?
Woody: You’re asking a guy who hardly speaks to any
of his family at home, including the brother he
practically raised on his own?
Kate: Is that for one of my bodies?
Kate: Are you kidding me? Has he even made a cut
in that guy yet? That body’s not getting any fresher.
This place is a mad house to begin with, add some
holiday cheer in there and you’ve got half a dozen
depressed ‘lords a leaping’ off of Boston’s high rises.
Did he say when he plans on autopsying Stinky?
Kate: So? She’s going to a family function? Call
Lifetime and get the movie deal going.
Kate: Beacon Hill huh? I would have thought Jordan
came from some sort of forest dwelling wild people.
Nigel: But you just can’t let your Christmases past dictate
how you’ll spend the ones now and in the future-
Kate: Hey, I never said that I —
Nigel: or you’ll be carrying around more chains
than old Jacob Marley,… Kate.
Garret: So was that Woody I saw doing the kiss and
run?
Garret: I just guess I’m not used to seeing this...
new
working-at-a-relationship-without-finding-some-way-to-sabotage-it
Jordan.
Garret: (to Jordan): I’ll get right on that… Have a
good afternoon — Cutie.
Lily: We’re all going to be involved in Madeline’s
life, so it only makes sense that we try to make things
work. I think we all lost sight of who the most
important person here is.
Woody: Oh, do you like it? Just something my
girlfriend picked out and hung in my car this morning.
Her subtle way of telling me the ‘Ho! Ho! Ho!’ sweater I
pulled out to wear to her grandmother’s Christmas party
tonight wasn’t going to make the cut.
Jordan: Just remember you talked me into
this. When she realizes I’m… seeing… dating a
cop.
Woody:
Why? Will she put me on coat check detail?
Jordan: No. She’ll make it clear I’m making the
same mistake my mom did.
Grandma: I had my doubts about Detective Hoyt at
first, my dear, but I like this one. Anyone who can
leave my granddaughter speechless must be quite a
man indeed.
Jordan: And I only called
one guest a pompous windbag to his face.
Woody: True. ’Course it was the mayor’s
brother-in-law….
Garret: Hey, Jordan… your dad… did you ever get in touch with him?
Jordan: Yeah, uh, I did. If there’s one thing we
learned from old ‘Scrooge’ while he was here , it’s to
make sure you share the time you can with the people you
love. We had a nice chat, yeah.
Kate: TOWNSEND! I don’t know how the
hell you got my landlord to let you into my
apartment…
Kate: But did you have to dress the dog up in the antlers again?
Nigel: You think he looks kooky; you should
see what I did to the Loo.
Woody: Seeing you talking to her, being civil. It
was like invasion of the body snatchers, for a second.
Woody: Past? Present? Any hint of the ghost of
Christmas future in there?
Jordan: ’Tis the season,
huh, Woodrow?
Woody: ’Tis.
Movie Narrator: And it was always said that he
knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive
possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us
and all of us. And so, as Tiny Tim observed; God bless
us, Everyone.
NEXT
