Episode 9, Virtual Season 7
Title:
Mighter

Written by: Bourbon and NCCJFAN
Artwork: Harbor Runner
Original Virtual Air Date:
December 2nd, 2007

Description:   

Finding Woody becomes the imperative as a tale of charlatans and snakes unwinds. While those at the morgue work desperately, Jordan struggles to come to terms with her knowledge of the dangers a cop must face.

Random Facts:

Crotalus Adamanteus, the Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake, is the largest rattlesnake in the Americas and is a pit-dwelling species. Found in the southeastern United States, it is reputed to be to most venomous snake in North America.

What do Indiana Jones and Nigel have in common? Jordan understands.

Reality is not the only thing that bites. (See Episode 7, “Reality Bites”  by jmcw.)

Snakes on a Plane, the 2006 horror/thriller film, had cult status even before it was released because of the interest in it shown via the Internet. Although a box-office disappointment, its reputation as a “the best worst film of 2006” and subsequent publishing of Snakes on a Plane: The Complete Quote Book have further enhanced this status. Bug’s reference to “Homeland Security” at this point references his own experience in Season 6.

Music:

Tube Snake Boogie by ZZ Top
King Snake Crawl by Johnny Lee Hooker
No Place too Far by Sara Evans
Forever is as Far as I Go by Alabama
You Just Might Make Me Believe by Sugarland

Quotes:

Nigel: What about Woodrow?
Jordan: He's working late.  And besides, he's not really big on movies with subtitles. Unless they have flying ninjas.

Nigel: "Snakes…why did it have to be snakes?"

Nigel: This isn’t just  a novice hiker stumbling into any pit of just any venomous reptiles…
Jordan: What are you saying, Nige?
Nigel: The venom in these snake bites tells us  that these particular Squamata are not native to Boston.  To Massachusetts for that matter.  Even to New England…
Bug: Are you sure?
Nigel: Buggles, Buggles, Buggles…why do you persist in questioning me? 

Nigel: Pushed into a pit of snakes?  There are easier ways to kill someone than that…given the fact you’d have to get the snakes from eastern North Carolina to Massachusetts without alerting any suspicions.
Bug: Well that definitely leaves air travel out.  Even Homeland Security would have picked up on that one…

Jordan: And your point is?
Woody: I can’t bring him in for questioning without a really good reason, Jordan, or the chief will have my balls on a platter.

Woody: Lie to a reverend?
Jordan: Paul hears confessions three times a week at St. Inez…
Woody: I’ll see you in line at the confessional.

Woody: Mark?
Jordan: He and Pollack worked together...
Woody:  And that’s supposed to make me feel better?

Woody: I'm not a snake, but I could introduce you to my python later.
Jordan: Are you in junior high?
Woody: Pretty much.

Nigel: And look what else.  Perphenazine and prochlorperazine.
Jordan: Man, what's going on in that place?
Woody: Okay, dumb cop here, remember?

Nigel: But I never went beyond politely listening to them.  But I can see that for anyone who doesn’t have an anchor in their life, a cult like Midkiff’s could have a powerful pull.
Jordan: Maybe.  But I like to think that I’m stronger than that.  That I’m all I need…
Nigel: Are you?
Jordan: No.  I’m not all I need…and right now I really need Woody to call me.

Woody: I'm Woody.  I'm a cop.  I'm from Wisconsin.  Little place called Kewaunee.  You from around here?

Woody: Know how long I chased her?  Almost six years.  That’s patience.  She’s all I’m thinking about in here, Kevin.  Getting out and spending the rest of my life with her.  Hearing her tell me she loves me again.  That’s the best thing in the world.  Hearing the girl you love saying she loves you back.  Everybody should have that once in their life.  Nobody should die without hearing that.

Garret: You okay?
Jordan: I can’t do this, Garret.
Garret: No one’s asking you to, Jor.  Bug and Nigel can run trace and Kate can help…
Jordan: No…that’s not what I mean.  I mean I can’t do this … I can’t love a cop.
Garret: Seems like it’s a little late to realize that…

Jordan: I want him back home.  Safe and sound.
Garret: So you can beat him for not waiting on back up?
Jordan: Yeah.

Woody:  I don't remember anything about Moses getting his people hooked on Compazine.

Peretti:  But it’s not allowed….
Garret:  And you actually think that’s going to stop her?

Garret:  You’ve already done it haven’t you? Chewed through your leash.

Woody:  I need you.  Don't leave me.
Jordan:  What was that?
Woody:  That's what you said.  In the bunker. 
Jordan:  (smiling): Yeah…

Jordan:  I guess you missed the other thing I whispered.  The part about waking up so I could kick your ass for not calling for backup.  Man, I am so not ready to go grey.
Woody:  Are you kidding me?  You're going to be one of those fabulous grey-haired dames who rides a Harley and takes up kick-boxing when you're 70.
Jordan:  Think you can keep up with me?
Woody:  Gonna try.

Garret:  You need a lift home?
Jordan:  No…thanks, Garret.  I…think I'll stay here tonight.  With Woody.
Garret:  So…I guess you're in this for the duration, then.
Jordan: Yeah.  I guess I am.  I spent my whole life being scared.  Running every time I got close to someone.  I can't do that anymore.  The thing is, I don't want to do that anymore.  For the first time in my life.  And I'm not scared. I'm…terrified.

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