Episode 4,
Virtual Season 7
Title:
Homecoming
Written by:
nccjfan, bourbon
Artwork:
Emma
Original Virtual Air Date: October
21, 2007
Description:
Returning to Kewaunee is no easy task for Woody. With
Cal accused of murder, he must rely on Jordan to prove
Cal’s innocence. Kate manages the chaos of an
under-staffed morgue.
Random Facts:
Music:
Oh Yeah, by
Yello
Winding Road,
by
Bonnie
Sommerville
I Miss You, by Simple
Plan
Brotherly Love, by
Keith Whitley and Earl Thomas Conley
Quotes:
Garret:
You know you really need to stop that wenis thing.
Jordan:
Why break a perfectly good tradition? It’s as good as
my elevator trick…
Jordan:
Come on, Woody. It wasn't that long ago you and I were
barely speaking. Now here we are. We're talking.
We're working on it. I've seen your wenis. Take his
call.
Jordan:
What is it? What's wrong?
Woody:
It's Calvin. He's in jail. He's been arrested for
murder.
Jordan:
Oh my God…but that's…Cal?...It's gotta be a mistake…
Woody:
Obviously you have more faith in him than I do.
Nigel:
Which brings me back to my original question….where’s
Woodrow?
Jordan:
I haven’t seen him in the last several days….
Nigel:
Oh, reeeeeaaaaaaalllllllllyyyyyyyy? Trouble in
Paradise, love?
Woody:
Thank you. (Pauses). Where are you? Still at work?
Jordan:
No. I’m at your apartment … got the mail in, watered
the plants…Getting my lacy underwear out of your
bathroom.
Woody:
Jordan…you don’t have any lacy underwear in my bathroom.
Jordan:
I don’t?
Woody:
No you don’t…
Jordan:
Must have been the other guy’s house….
Kate:
You're kidding me, right? I had to fill out form HR 57
dash…whatever in triplicate to take half a day to get my
teeth cleaned, and she gets to skip out on a whim? Yet
again, the rules seem to apply to everyone but Jordan
Cavanaugh.
Chatty Cathy:
Wow. Working in a morgue. That's crazy. So, you can
like, go to a party and meet someone and they can ask
you what you do for a living and you can say, "I see
dead people." Ohmigod, that's hilarious. I gotta use
that…
Woody:
The "Spamlette!" Three egg omelette with cheese,
onions, mushrooms, peppers, and Spam. Norma's is famous
for them.
Annie:
Yeah, number three! Mike, Jr., Madison, and baby
Makenna.
Jordan:
Wow. How alliterative.
Jordan:
Girlfriend?
Woody:
What was I supposed to call you? There's no word in the
English language to describe our relationship.
Jordan:
I don't know. Girlfriend. It's growing on me. Maybe
you'll ask me to the sock hop and let me wear your
letter sweater, too.
Cal:
So, are you having sex with my brother yet?
Kate:
Nigel!
Nigel:
Yes, luv?
Kate:
Don’t call me luv!
Nigel:
How did you do it, Bug? It would have taken us two weeks
to clear that backlog, and you did it in eight hours.
Bug:
I've been taking care of Lily and Maddie for the past
two days. After 48 hours of dirty diapers and sick
buckets, this is your basic Sunday in the park.
Cal:
I never want to see orange again….
Jordan:
I told you man, it’s so not your color.
Cal:
I don’t even want to have a pumpkin at Halloween.
Cal:
I know…I know. If it weren’t for you two, I’d still be
in that cell waiting to go on trial for something I
didn’t do.
Jordan:
Consider it a family favor.
Cal:
Family? Something you two aren’t telling me?
Woody:
Let’s just say we’re working on it
Cal:
To hear you tell it, you’ve been working on “it” for six
years.
Woody:
Seven’s the number of perfection…
Cal:
Okay…I’ll give it serious consideration. Milwaukee’s a
big town…
Woody:
So’s Chicago…
Cal:
So’s Boston…
Woody:
She’s off-limits, man…
Cal:
I know. But I’d like to get to know my future
sister-in-law a little better…
Jordan:
So where’s home for you now, Woods?
Woody:
A very wise woman told me something one time, a long
time ago, in a far away place called California…
Jordan:
Really? What’s that?
Woody:
That home was right behind me…in Boston.
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